Feeding...

Okay, so I don't know if it's my place to actually start a new discussion or anything, but I would like people's thoughts on this. Especially Syl's.. she rocks. XD

Dearest Syl,

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN I FEED!!! I now know what it feels like when I do it. I've done it tons of times but didn't realize what it was, and it's not always as strong as last time.

The way I figured it out:
(I'm going to use initials because I don't think they would want their real names in here)
D (one of my best friends) and I went with other friends over to my other best friends house. We did basic energy stuff but mostly just chatted and played around. After two of the friends had left it was just D, me, my other best friend, and another friend. D was on the couch in front of the computer and I was lying next to him cuddling with him. All of a sudden I got this amazing feeling running through me. It was warm and intoxicating. My breathing got much deeper and really slowed down. It felt almost like I was breathing it in, only it wasn't like air.. it was thicker. I know you described it like water, and I can see that now. I'm not going to use that term when I say it though because it makes me think of drowning and that freaks me out. >.> Anyway, when we finally stopped I felt sort of, well, giddy. Extremely content. Like a cat that purrs, I suppose. I didn't realize that was what was going on until we talked about it in his car later. I told him how he felt and he said "weird, I felt like I was feeding, too." That kind of took me by surprise. I didn't realize that all this time I had been feeding when I felt that weird sensation come over me. I never knew what that was.
I know I've done it many times before, but the only strong times I can think of most recently were this once with a guy on the bus I ride, and the moon. I ride the local bus Monday through Friday to get to and from school. This one guy, Matt, is a regular rider like me. He sat next to me one day and our arms were touching each other and I remember that strong sensation coming over me. I thought I was just weird or something. Like maybe I'm just getting off on some strange guy touching my arm.. I don't know. lol At that point I knew a bit about vampirism and energy work, etc etc. but I didn't know what it was like to feed. I also realize that that is what I've done with the moon all my life. First off, I get incredibly entranced by the moon. If I'm outside or even somewhere inside where I can see it, I'll stare at it for as long as I can. I've gotten rude comments before about it. >.> Anyway, for as long as I can remember when the moonlight came into my room I would always go lie in it. If it was on the floor or on my bed or something I would be there covered as much as possible in the moonlight. I would feel sort of the same thing only a little different than what I already explained, and then when I got up, for whatever reason, I felt incredibly energized and thoroughly happy. I guess I was feeding off of the moon. Hmm, go figure. =]

Anyway, that's just what's happening to me right now and I thought I'd put it out there for any ideas or comments. That is, as long as the comments and ideas aren't rude or ill intentioned. Which, from Syl, I know they won't be. =]

I just feel like I've jumped over a personal hurdle.

I'll be back to check on reponses later.

Thanks for reading. =]

Hum. That's quite interesting.

Hum. That's quite interesting.

Hmm.. I tried replying to that but it didn't seem to post. If this posts a second time, I apologize.

Anyway, how/why is it interesting? I don't really think I'm a vampire, I just know I feed.. if that makes any sense. I think everyone feeds and donates to some extent, just some - obviously - need more energy and need it more frequently because of what I consider to be an energy deficiency. I hope that makes sense and I hope I'm not offending anyone. That's not my intention.

You haven't offended me darling,

I was just typing out loud. Let me mull over this a bit more and I think I would love to ask you some questions.

Darkest blessings and warmest regards,

A

I am working on getting a reply up here. Just having a bit of foot in mouth vs brain working too many angles sort of problem... I see there are a lot of little questions in your post, and I am trying to write up something that will give a little bit of insight into how I view that sort of situation.

Hope my head cloud clears soon...

~Spyder

Thank you and I hope to hear your responses soon. =]

Well...hum.

Why do you feed?
Why do you need to feed?
What does it feel like when you have not for a while?
What are the lasting effects of taking ki?
What does your aura feel like to you in general, color, textures, the weight to it and how does that change around people or when you have not fed in a while as apposed to when you are sated?

These are only a few of my questions dearest I will ask a few more once I hear a bit more about you and your experiences. As a little note and do not take this as I am being judgmental of you or trying to discount your experiences but, what makes a "vampire" or a "vampyre" is the need to feed. Vampire is just a word used to define something so much more it is a solid thing that cannot define completely the meaning of what is felt is suppose.

Darkest blessings and warmest regards,

A

Don't worry, I'm not offended. I have a friend who is a vampire and I know I'm not one, I was just saying that for whatever reason I'm kind of excited to know what it feels like when I feed.

I really don't know why I feed, it just seems to randomly happen. Especially around my friend Mugsy who just radiates a lot of energy. Being anywhere near him I start to get that sensation but touching him makes it a thousand times more potent, I guess you could say.

I don't know if I need to feed, I just know I do. It's really unintentional and I don't really know how to control it yet. Especially around Mugsy. It's also kind of intoxicating, like I don't want to let go. I'm almost afraid I'm going to get.. I don't know, addicted to it almost because it just feels so good. I just need to learn how to turn it off, I guess. Or shield better or something. Right now as far as shielding goes, I either do it unintentionally or I have to work at having it up. I'm going to get more help from friends in the shielding department because they know I'm having a hard time with that.

Lasting effects? Hmm.. I know that when I do feed - and by the way I THINK I'm feeding I don't really know if I am or not - I feel this warm sensation all through my body and when I breathe it gets deeper and calmer and I feel a sort of, comforting sensation and that lasts for a few hours.

I don't really know how to tell much about my aura yet. I'm a beginner with energy work but I have a group I meet with every week and we're exploring different topics relating to it. My friend Mugsy told me the other day that my aura was deep red and purple and that it was kind of.. flowing outward, whereas my friend who's a vampire her energy was deep blues and purples and was kind of in a weaving pattern. I don't know if what he was seeing was accurate or not or what any of that means, I just thought I'd put that out there. As far as seeing other people's auras I'm only at the beginner stage of that where you see it coming just a few inches off of them. Sometimes it gets to about six inches or a little more but I haven't been able to see colours yet. So in conclusion to this question, I have no clue. Sorry.

Thanks for responding and not being judgmental or rude or anything. I don't really know much about this, and I apologize for my ignorance.

I have a strange experience I would like to share relating to this.. sort of I think.

Last night (Friday night) I was with a bunch of friends at one friend's house. Friend A juggles stuff for the fun of it and has different balls that he practices with. He brought his favorite one out that he never really lets anyone see or feel. I was drawn to it automatically. I don't know why but I knew that I needed to hold it. A few hours later I actually got to hold it and I just.. I don't even know how to describe what I was doing.. just moving my hands on it and all around it and then I would put it to my forehead (I was laying stomach side down on the floor). I don't know why I felt like I needed to do this, I just did. Having it in my hands and looking through it was almost hypnotizing. I cannot even describe what was going on. At a certain point I felt like I was done with the ball and didn't need it anymore. I gave it back and Friend A said that it felt like I took some of it's energy and replaced it with some of my own. (He charged it and keeps it with stones and crystals at home.) I asked him if that was like what we had done that other night when we felt like we were feeding from each other. He said yeah, pretty much. So apparently I don't really feed I just.. I don't know.. exchange energy? I'm not really sure what that means on a personal level but I know that before I held the ball I was feeling very emotional and irritable and when I was done with the ball I felt more balanced and stabilized. I have no idea what all of that means. I know I'm not a vampire, I've always known I wasn't a vampire. I just want to what the hell is going on with me. Please enlighten me if you have any input.

I'm sorry for taking up so much space on this message board. I really do want to meet you all one day if I can ever make it to a meeting. If you want me to stop posting stuff just let me know, I don't know if this is really a good place for me to ask questions and I don't want to get on anyone's nerves.

Thanks,
Lindsey